Three Days of Grief

In case you weren't aware, I am a grief therapist. Most people assume that one of the toughest parts of this job is maintaining composure amidst overwhelming emotions and deep sorrow. However, the real challenge often lies in guiding grieving individuals through well-intentioned yet misguided advice. Surprisingly, such feedback can sometimes be quite harmful.

For example, I've been part of a private Facebook group dedicated to supporting women in their fitness journeys over the past few months. Our bodies inevitably reflect what's happening in our lives, affecting how they function, respond, and feel. It's not unusual for women to share their experiences of loss and trauma, especially when they embark on rigorous diet and exercise regimens.

Today, a heartbroken woman posted about the sudden death of her grandchild just two days ago. The responses she received were generally polite, with sentiments like "I'm so sorry to hear it" and "take good care of yourself." These were fine enough.

But then, I came across this: “…take three days to really cry your eyes out […]. Plan a time and day for when you will end this grief and step into the gym…”

Oh, for crying out loud! No.

Grief doesn't adhere to a schedule. It isn't something you push through like a weight loss plateau.

I empathize with the woman who offered this misguided advice. She was attempting to provide the encouragement the grieving person sought, hoping to prevent her from "going backward" in her fitness journey despite her profound loss. However, what someone in grief truly needs is not advice on perseverance as if nothing happened, but guidance on self-care, which may or may not involve an intense workout plan.

Grief can halt your world. The darkness and emotional turmoil can overshadow everything but the pain. Moving your body might alleviate that pain—or it might exacerbate it. It's crucial to listen to what your body needs and take care of it accordingly. For those who wish to offer support, consider saying, "Take good care of yourself, and we'll be here when you're ready."